Well...I have done it again. For the past couple of weeks, I have worked on a letter to someone....accusing them of holding ill feelings against others when I have done the same thing myself. Choosing self-righteousness over love. To those of you who have witnessed that in me, please forgive me...



Ya see, I used to believe that it was my God-given duty to set everyone else straight. This included any and everyone right down to the server at a fast food restaurant. But a few years ago when God delivered me from the baggage, abuse, addictions and plain and simple, a sin-filled life, I suddenly saw the reflection in the mirror. The awful person I had become. For the first time in my life, I truly fell in love with Jesus and saw myself for who I was compared to who HE is......you see, it was rarely that the other person was totally right or justified..it was that I was sooo wrong.



so.......somehow, I fell in this trap again. Suddenly out of nowhere, I get on this tangent to set the record straight with someone. It all came to a head last night (for me) when I couldn't go to sleep for thinking about it. About 1am, I thought "Oh my goodness! What am I doing?" I prayed and set it aside. Now, all I can think about is telling the person how much I love them and clear the air.

Thankfully, I did not get around to sending the letter. We make choices everyday to either respond or react. And truly the only right response to anything is to let God's love flow through us. The Blessing is that I've chosen once again to just love. Hopefully, I can do just that. And thankfully, all the people I've hurt along the way have not written me a letter pointing out all my faults. Otherwise, I would have received hundreds.

One thing I could always say about my dad...he loved me! We argued, we fought and we told each other off numerous times. But we could always say to the other, "I'm having a bad. You've hurt me. I'm mad at you...and if you will leave me alone, I will be okay." I loved having that with my dad. Now, I can even cherish the times we argued and how stupid it all was. Thankfully, the last year of his life, he made ammends and learned to love as Christ loves us. He learn to turn the other cheek and love no matter what. But why must we wait until we feel we've wasted our life (or our bodies) or feel we're near the end to see clearly? I choose not to follow in his steps in that regard. I choose to love and allow myself to be loved here and now!

So, If I've ever hurt you, done you wrong, made you feel less of a person, not loved you or just ignored you all together, please forgive me. It was just me preoccupied with myself.

For our struggle is not against fless and blood, but against the rulers, authorities, powers of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12